First Time Parent

I have experienced being a first time parent twice. In 2003, I became pregnant, but a few months later the baby died. The definition of a parent is a mother or father; any organism that produces another. By that definition, even though the baby never birth out of me, I was a parent. When a female finds out that she is pregnant, she becomes attached immediately as if she is already holding the baby in her arms. Think about it. When a woman becomes pregnant, she has to make decisions that are good for the baby, like what to eat, monitoring her stress, physical activities, or the people she fellowships with. That all falls into being a parent because, the life inside the woman makes her a mother. She has to take care of the baby while he or she is in the womb as well as when the baby comes out. I was not married the first time I was pregnant, and I was nervous and excited. I see a child as a blessing and the Bible states so. When I found out I was pregnant, I started to make decisions that would be beneficial to my baby. I felt like a mother and I even talked to the baby. When I lost the baby, I was devastated.  I guess you can say I was emotionally unstable at the time, because I wanted to be pregnant again. I was scared that I was going to be one of those females who couldn’t have a baby, so I got pregnant on purpose the second time to prove to myself that  I could birth a baby. Foolish, I know. However, this pregnancy was successful.  With this pregnancy, I became a first time parent for the second time. This time becoming a parent was difficult. My son was born with complications. He spent the first 4 ½ months of his life in the hospital. I really had to trust God. When the doctors said my son my never walk or talk right, I had to trust God. When they said he would never drink from a bottle, I had to trust God. When the hospital overdosed him, I had to trust God. It was hard as a parent to see my child suffer the way he did. Now after being on oxygen for 2 ½ years, coming home with a feeding tube, two monitors, seven medications, and many surgeries later he is now a thriving six year-old! Anyone who did not see him back then would never guess he has suffered any. It was hard, but being the mother that I am, I had to be strong and trust God. I want God to be proud that he put Nehemiah Daniel Lumpkins on this earth for me to raise. I believe the baby that died inside of me is in heaven, and one day we will meet. How awesome that will be! Peace