It An't no Fairy Tale

You remember how it was back in high school when you just thought you knew what love was. You had your little high school sweetheart that you just swore you were going to marry, and some do actually marry their high school sweetheart. But then folks go away to college and things change. Next thing you know, your hurt, because the person you knew you were going to spend the rest of your life with changed. And if you were honest, you changed too. We say we want to do a lot of things when were young, when the reality is leaving high school begins the process of us learning who we are. It’s hard for young folks to stay married, because they are still learning about themselves and what their place in life really is. We fall in love and we make decisions based on being with that person, and when things don’t work out, and we all hurt, then it’s kind of like what am I going to do now? Time you could have spend being productive you spent getting over that person. If you are like me, you’ve been hurt a few times. But I don’t blame the dudes; they were just being who they were. I really didn’t know how I deserved to be treated. And now after the experiences of past relationships, and growing into womanhood, I look back and realize that I got hurt because I chose to be with dudes that didn’t know how to treat me like a lady, and I didn’t act like one either. I grew up a tomboy and a little tough so I really didn’t know how to act like a lady. I will never be a prissy chic, but I’ve learned that men treat you how you demand to be treated. It’s funny cus you couldn’t get me to wear the make-up I wear now back then. I must admit after years of sitting on a basketball bench, learning how to sit with my ankles crossed is a little bit of a challenge. But nonetheless, I’m not damaged or anything because I’ve been hurt, that’s part of life, I really don’t see how anyone can avoid hurt. I’m still that chic that loves hard, and I would never let anyone change that about me. I can say from all the hurt from my past relationships has made me see what I really deserve; a man that will treat me like a lady, because I am one.  I’ve had people tell me that I want too much in a guy and that I’m never going to find the guy I want. My thing is, I want a man who is going to love me as Christ loves the church; if you’re a man of God, what’s so hard about that? I’m not picky, I’m just not going to settle. I believe people chose their mates based on how they see themselves. If you don’t love yourself, you’re not going to choose someone who really loves you for you. I don’t know bout you, but me is all I can be, so if a guy can’t love me for that, then he is just not the one. I’m not that same chic in high school with these lala dreams of getting married. I’m older and wiser now and I realize, as pastor Robert Poole puts it best, “It an’t no fairy tale.”

Carefree

So God speaks to me often through the relationship I have with my son. Looking at him, I get to thinking how he thinks I can do anything. It never enters his mind when he asks me for something that I can’t do it. There is no doubt in his mind and he is very persistent. He has no idea how I have to pay bills so we can have lights, watch TV, play on the computer, etc. He doesn’t know where the money comes from that buys his toys, his clothes, his shoes or anything else. He doesn’t ask me how I’m going to get it nor does he care; he trust that I’m going to make it happen if I say yes. All he knows is he has what he needs and if it’s my will he gets what he wants. He has a carefree life. He doesn’t worry about anything, lol. He knows it’s not his job to take care of himself. So I get to thinking how awesome that will be when I receive God in that manner. God is taking care of me; not caring how He is going to make it happen; believing that when I ask I’m going to receive according to His will. It will be awesome to see God the way my son sees me. Then I will be able to have a carefree life too. (Mat.6:31-33)