You remember
how it was back in high school when you just thought you knew what love was. You
had your little high school sweetheart that you just swore you were going to
marry, and some do actually marry their high school sweetheart. But then folks
go away to college and things change. Next thing you know, your hurt, because
the person you knew you were going to spend the rest of your life with changed.
And if you were honest, you changed too. We say we want to do a lot of things
when were young, when the reality is leaving high school begins the process of
us learning who we are. It’s hard for young folks to stay married, because they
are still learning about themselves and what their place in life really is. We
fall in love and we make decisions based on being with that person, and when
things don’t work out, and we all hurt, then it’s kind of like what am I going
to do now? Time you could have spend being productive you spent getting over
that person. If you are like me, you’ve been hurt a few times. But I don’t blame
the dudes; they were just being who they were. I really didn’t know how I
deserved to be treated. And now after the experiences of past relationships,
and growing into womanhood, I look back and realize that I got hurt because I
chose to be with dudes that didn’t know how to treat me like a lady, and I didn’t
act like one either. I grew up a tomboy and a little tough so I really didn’t
know how to act like a lady. I will never be a prissy chic, but I’ve learned
that men treat you how you demand to be treated. It’s funny cus you couldn’t
get me to wear the make-up I wear now back then. I must admit after years of
sitting on a basketball bench, learning how to sit with my ankles crossed is a
little bit of a challenge. But nonetheless, I’m not damaged or anything because
I’ve been hurt, that’s part of life, I really don’t see how anyone can avoid
hurt. I’m still that chic that loves hard, and I would never let anyone change
that about me. I can say from all the hurt from my past relationships has made
me see what I really deserve; a man that will treat me like a lady, because I
am one. I’ve had people tell me that I
want too much in a guy and that I’m never going to find the guy I want. My
thing is, I want a man who is going to love me as Christ loves the church; if you’re
a man of God, what’s so hard about that? I’m not picky, I’m just not going to
settle. I believe people chose their mates based on how they see themselves. If
you don’t love yourself, you’re not going to choose someone who really loves
you for you. I don’t know bout you, but me is all I can be, so if a guy can’t
love me for that, then he is just not the one. I’m not that same chic in high
school with these lala dreams of getting married. I’m older and wiser now and I
realize, as pastor Robert Poole puts it best, “It an’t no fairy tale.”
